My, how time races. So many people from my childhood are dead last is at 12.02. Peter Alexander died. A very sad ending.
Everything is currently playing in transition. People pass away from me, or are simple. My interest in making new Bakanntschaften is dwindling.
And I'm really used to smile in the world. I should have smiled as a baby already - probably a genetic defect seems to be. But by and by passing me any joy. I see so many things I do not like. And none of it I can change. Not even in my immediate environment. Yes, I have tried many things and try it still. Sometimes I can for a moment to create something. But it's no use - after that moment everything will be just as or worse. And that's mellow.
Monday, I must return to work. I will continue to experience the daily struggle. Colleagues, who open up the butt, until you wegstrukturiert their job and they are close to a nervous breakdown. Then there is my boss, who recently praised Schröder's agenda and his staff (literally!) "gratitude" expected and elsewhere has found the right path. I will have to fight on the streets that no accident happens - yes, I will still be needed. And if so what happened that I was not cheating in the settlement - as in the Last year happened.
Through all that time will again rush past me. Meanwhile, my best years go past me. People who are important to me to be old or have not tired of me die silent, or. No one says "leave me alone, you make me sick." But I think that some think. If they think at all to me.
This is all so worthless that I create with my work, so senseless. But I have no choice. I have at least one source of income. This is much in modern times.
And I'm afraid that will happen soon privately even more violent. May be that the final throws me off track. Can also be that I will then be different. But you will miss me any more at some point. Maybe not now. I think it would be good if no one cries when I am dead. I want to be forgotten. I want to grow old in any case.
-drops67-
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